A Life Full of Scrap

Number 101... does it reminds you of the very begining of something? There's always the 1st time for everything. 101 reminds me of those Uni days where I used to have those communication courses YKT101 or whatever shit haha... those basic stuff. Oh and of coz' 101 Dalmation the cute doggies cartoon... how can I forget that...Yeah this is my number 101 post... and after such a long crap intro on 101, I am actually writing this post about something I felt for the first time after I decided to hoop right into a relationship again without knowing what awaits me in the near future.

For the first time... I feel he is hiding something and he is not telling me how he feels... I did asked but he insisted he is alright. I know if he wants to let me know he will let me know eventually but I just couldn't help it. I know my feelings are very strong and yes 99.9% it is always right! I know it sounded silly but I just knew something is not right with him. Why won't he tell me his problems? Why is he acting so different today? Alright maybe some of you might think that I'm too free and think too much garbage. Whatever it is... this is not a very nice feeling. I hate the fact that he couldn't talk to me about how he feels. I hate the fact that something is troubling him yet I couldn't seems to help him out. I hate the fact that he is not telling me how he feels because maybe to him we're not as close yet. Or maybe I am the fact that he is feelings shitty? Maybe I'm not good enough for him? Maybe he has found someone else? I don't know... just too many possibilities which is driving me crazy. I really hope he is okay though... maybe I'm just worried. Worried about him or for myself? (you might asked that) Well, I don't really know either. I can partially read Mandarin and it sucks... I wish I know it all or I just don't know at all! Having to know half is like a crippled person trying to walk with a broken stick. He wrote something on his wall... I know it's just parts of a lyric... I know that song many many years ago... I just can't help but wonder why he had that on his wall? Hmm... Surely something related right... normally that's what people do... take parts of lyrics which resemble their life or feelings and paste it as their status or whatever... "Hu si luan xiang" is the title of song. There's a few song with similar titles but this was sang by Michael & Victor many many yearsss ago when they're still together in the group. Meaning of the song... hard to describe =P coz' I don't even know what exactly it means... Please be my guest and enlighten me. Ahhh... just hope my intuition is wrong this time... hope that this sucky feelings falls under the 1% category and that my dear is alright just like he said so... *cross ma fingers*

To make things worst, I barely get to talk to him today. I was busy preparing the stupid deck and forget to sign in my msn then off for meeting by the time I came back was lunch time and off I go... by 2pm+ I guess he left for work. Came back home late also... only get to chat like few words... Okay I know I'm going to meet him tomorrow but still I miss him just as much okay! I wonder if he knows... hmm... oh well...

Besides another weird thing happened as well. For the 1st time today, Kevin called when I'm still in the office... well okay not exactly the first time he called me but the first time here is more like he acted so blardy damn strange =.=|||. Okay here's how it goes... Pick up the phone I heard "where are you?" my replied "office la" then he said "where you going tonight?" I'm like "hah?" He repeated "Going anywhere tonight?" I said "No where la about to leave office going back soon". Then he was like "Okay hah like that ar... ha...ok la" the next thing I know "...du...du...du..." I'm like "Huh? Wtf is that?" Geez... call me up just to ask me that? Something is seriously wrong with him too. What is wrong with guys nowadays... and I thought women are complicated beings... I guess the guys are catching up as well. Damn swt kau kau!

Seriously... I am still trying to think if I had done something that make my dear feel sad. I don't think I did or maybe I did. Haihz don't know la... really give up trying to please people these days... I am equally as tired! Whatever la... sienz-ness!!! I'm off going to wash my pile of clothes and pack my shit for tomorrow's trip... I doubt I should sleep now... If I do I might miss-ed my bus... =.=||| okay going off now!