A Life Full of Scrap

It's bloody 4am... I still can't sleep... wonder if I should start taking sleeping pills =.=||| Sleepless nights is driving me crazy... I feel so tired during the day time can't even bloody concentrate on my work! Thank God tomorrow is Friday. Yeah... tomorrow is Friday... he should be flying off to HK hope he has a nice trip... since he has been looking forward towards it so much... maybe he could forget about everything... maybe I could forget about this pain too... okay waffak... seriously I'm a bit coo-koo already...

Oh I am so random... been listening to some random Korean / Jap songs without knowing what's the bloody meaning of the songs nor have I heard before too... =.=||| They sounded sad just in tune with my mood and what to do I can't bloody sleep!

This is bad man... tomorrow BEP Authur's day thing... Sat is Subaru Challenge and now I am having sleepless nights... I guess I won't be able to last and be the finalist already. ZzZzZz Darn it! One min, I am in a pissy mood... one min, I am like and idiot staring into the four walls... one min, I just cry and cry and cry... Am I sick =.=??? maybe just a little unwell...

Wonder why happy things they never last... why can't I smile a little longer? Why constant heartaches and misery argh! I know life is unfair... but don't ya think I really had enough? I just want to be happy and nothing else... is that too much to ask for? When will I smile again? When Alex left he took my smile away... when I found him I thought I had a second chance... then he soon left as well... I felt like being played by fate... it's like a living nightmare. I'm so afraid of love now... so afraid of trusting people... so afraid of having hopes again... nothing ever last. Nothing... I hate my life... I just hate how foolish I am... I hate the tears in my eyes... I hate myself even more because I am so pathetic... people will probably just get up the next day and everything is okay since it is just a bloody stupid short term relationship anyway! Why can't I be just like them?

Argh why do I even bother to blog this... =.= oh yeah coz' I got nothing better to do but sulk and be pathetic. Ahh whatever... done with this sobbing story... don't bloody read it if you think it's stupid...coz' reading it makes you an idiot too. So FARK OFF... it's my bloody blog! Again I love to type whatever... none of your bloody business!