A Life Full of Scrap

Argh~ Why do I have this feeling that he is playing around? Why can't I let go of the thought of "will I get hurt in the end"? Why I feel like we're both trying to keep a distance between us? Why is there so many WHYs? WHY? WHY? WHY? I need to bloody feel secure!

Most of the time my intuition never lie to me! Almost 99.8% correcto~~~

At times, I don't even understand myself. Haihz...

He said he need assurance on if he is really really into me? I'm like wtf? How can you get assurances in things like LOVE which is something so intangible or abstract? I asked "so why did you do it when you're not ready to be in a relationship?". He said well he knows he put a like on me... and doing 'it' was the closest assurances he could get... WTF is that kind of answer... to me it sounded more like "Well I am here just to have fun and not I don't like you...but I'm just not into relationship with you" haha yea I love to make assumption :P sue me!

Something that is troubling me... He deleted me from his friendster and also facebook. I did randomly raise a question he just slight brush it off... and divert to else where... He is definitely hiding something or maybe he wanted to make himself look more mysterious than ever knowing that I like puzzle... he probably thought this is the best way to keep me interested... Again my assumptions...

He didn't avoid me like how KW did. (oh to those that don't know KW is another old story we're still friends like buddies just lately I malas layan him only) He still call everyday without miss but he seems rather strange... argh~ so frustrating! Some how I feel he is testing my patience... to see how far he could go... He hasn't seen the other side of me... the mean ass me... the bad temper me... the green eye monster me... the control possesive me well all this lables were given by my ex to me. I've avoided a lot of confrontation just to see how far and how much longer he wants to push... This is how I am, I don't say doesn't mean I don't know what's going on. Last time, I often do this to my ex too because I want to see if he actually realize that I'm observing him and his every single move and will act accordingly himself. (Sadly no he is too dense) Haha no I'm not stalker I'm just an observer.

Well, I've told myself to play cool... I don't call or sms him but only answer his call... he seldom sms anyway :P I won't ask him out anymore unless he ask me out... (ok maybe once in a while if I'm out with smalls or group then maybe I could have him tag along then I will ask) Overall, play hard to get hahaha...

We shall see how it goes... YES I AM STILL INSECURE haha (if my ex is reading this, he probably thought I will always be insecure what's new?) :P

YEAH probably he is right but who cares! He couldn't make me feel secure that doesn't mean other guys can't right? :P I'm just hard to please hehehe


-=DONE4TODAY=- Hopefully get to go Maison for Kent's party :) free flow babe~!