A Life Full of Scrap

Dear Alex,
I never thought I will come to the last chapter...
We lasted pretty long... 7 years. It's been hell lately and I did see it coming weeks ago. I never thought of it when we first crafted our first chapter together. It was so sweet and mesmerizing... I guess life just got to move on.
I tried many many times... I did and I am just as equally as tired as you.

I tried to forgive and forget that you flirted with other girls on our second year together. I don't blame you for that, honestly I played a role in it too. However, when we decided to move on... you cheated on me again with an older bitch. Sad thing was I was away each time you do that. Sometimes I just wish you clean up your ass cleaner each time you decide to do things behind my back. You see... I wasn't born like yesterday which you may thought I am. It was so sad...my days during my internship was the sadest days in my whole entire life. I still remembered I save those God Damn hard earn money just to come back and see you every farkin' week. Sadly all we do was we fight. I never know back then you already had another bitch to fark. I never know you were starting to cheat on me. Then finally I found out the truth and finally end of my internship I gone back. I thought things was going to be better.

Unfortunately, I was so wrong. You were still seeing her. Why bother making up drama? Why went out dinner with your bitch just to tell her one last good bye when you guys still together behind my back? Still chat with her at work, go lunch with her at work, see her for dinner at work? Fun huh? Worst thing you could do was slept with her when I went for CHINA trip... After I had gone through so much thinking everything will be fine...trying hard to fix things which obviously couldn't be fix anymore... I had to smile in front of everyone not telling anybody how i really feel deep down inside. I couldn't even tell any of my friends or family about what you had done to me. But you on the other hand, boost about how a bitch I am... true I am freaking control freak. You turn me into one. I am insecure but who had turn my trust to dirt? Who had been cheating on me? I was so loyal for the past years. Now you thought me that loyalty doesn't do jack shit! Even after I had done a major sin which you force me too...I could never forgive myself and you for making me doing that. We both know what I am talking about.

I tried to be better after all that...I cared for you like no other. I try my very best to change so I am not a control freak anymore. I did change but you didn't. In the process of fighting with you and your bitch I've hurt myself even more.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

I am sure you feel the same too. I've always wanted to marry you just like you promise me. It was my fault for trying to push you to do things you don't want too. It's my fault, but I was just thinking for the sake of our future. When I know you...you were a bump now you're richer and have a more stable career and it's getting better you decide to leave me? Strange though you want to leave but you just couldn't be the bad guy can't you? You just couldn't take the bad name huh? Treating me like shit, scold me vulgar words, hit me till i bleed, being sacastic and rude to me just to make me leave? If it was me back then, I won't leave but make you suffer.

Now, I really had enough. I really need to take the step to walk right through this last chapter of our journey together. No doubt it was nice being with you when we weren't fighting. No doubt you were caring and I was mean to you at times. No doubt you were paying back for what you had done. In the end, I just couldn't bring myself to hurt myself anymore. I just couldn't forgive and forget the past. I couldn't stay for the sake of hanging on.

I am leaving just like you want me too.

It's been hell of a journey, thank you and sorry I am leaving. Sorry I wasn't good enough for you. Hope for the best for you and I do hope I find myself back. Over the years I had lost myself in the process of being someone who I am not. You are free now just like you wish too.

Thank you for letting me seeing your true colours.
Good bye
-Mel-