A Life Full of Scrap

FIRE burns... we were taught of that since we were young. Well, I seriously hope I'm not playing with the fire now. I don't know why suddenly I felt so confuse... felt like I still like K or my feelings for him never ended? Just right after he called up my feelings just go hay wire =.=||| WADAFARK is wrong with me? No... this is bad I told myself to forget about him and I should just love dear alone... haihz dear saw my blog and asked about if I still have feelings for K =.=||| It seems that I answered without thinking... I said confidently "Don't worry okay I just love you only" Omg am I lying to him or to myself? I don't know if I am playing with the FIRE now... I am so sorry dear... What the fark is wrong with me? What the fark does K wants? Today he called up and suddenly he is the Mr. nice guy again. What's with the cold and hot treatment? He told me how much he wanted to ask me out bla bla bla and yeah seriously we haven't had such a great conversation after such a long long time since that incident of awkwardness. I know deep down there's something for him and he do feel the same but I just couldn't play this game any longer. I'm with someone else now. Argh~ my emotion runs wild each time I talk to him. Damn it!

I am not going to hurt my dear that's a promise I made to myself and yeah to this brand new relationship. My dear is so nice and sweet he sms-ed me just before he goes to bed and said he won't simply think =.=" and wish me good nite haihz... My dear is going to HK soon... gonna miss him lots. He is such a nice guy erm... asked me if I wanted anything :) honestly I just wanted him to hug me again hehe... he is pretty optimistic about us and he constantly asked if there's anything I want to tell him, he is concern about my concerns. Haihz... sooner or later he is going to find that I am a pretty complicated person to be with. Sooner or later when we get closer I bet dear's gonna feel trap like how Alex once said to me that he feels like he is being captured by me... yeah I'm serious that's why he betrayed me =.=|||. Okay he might be a jerk but then again I wonder if I'm such a control freak. I hope I'm not. Maybe I should warn dear in advance I could get jealous easily... and how when one loses my trust, he or she will never get it back ever again. How funny hehe jokingly he told me he is scare of my father lolx well probably not and how he joke about his Powderful ENGland lolx he is so cute neh haha I just wish if he is here I guess then things would be so much easier.

I just hope I get rid of this habit/feelings asap and wait for Oct so I can see my dear again. Let's just look at the bright side suddenly my gloomy dark life filled with so much love =.=||| too much too handle at times haha...

Okay time to sleep... Oyasuminasai~