A Life Full of Scrap

27th Aug... FINALLY HERE!

I guess I would have to thank Dominique & Kok Yu for this. At least one made me laugh and one accompany me before they both went to bed lolx... Dominique is such a funny weird guy. Anyway, at least I don't have to be sad today. I hope...

I miss the old Alex for some reason. Am I not over with him? I'm pretty sure I am but why do I get this feeling... feeling of sadness and loneliness! It should have been 8 years today. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN! Yeah... I know I know get it over right... I know I should be happy for him. Happy that he is now happy without me. Funny how when he is around I don't seems to appreciate him... I guess that's how humans are... we're ungrateful beings. Only when you lose somebody you'll learn to appreciate them. By then it's just too late.

While typing this, my tears just roll down my cheek and I thought I won't cry anymore. Erm... but I guess I won't called it crying... it is just 3 drops =.=||| Ahhh... Thought I could ask K out but he is working just now... so hardworking doing OT... Hmm... well when I call he didn't pick up I thought he was avoiding me then he replied saying "yes? anything? I'm working now" well my replied, "Oh nvm then I'm going to Curve thought you finish work d tot could ask if you wanna meet or not. Tot you say you work 7am-4pm no?" He said "Very hard working... doing OT haha" and I say ok lor gambateh don't want disturb him already. So pathetic la me...

Now even I don't think of Alex, I think of K I am sad too... =.=||| sad case! Damn stupid! Lately I am into this Tohoshinki's song "Why did I fall in love with you?" in Japanese it's called Doushite Kimi wo Sukininatte Shimattan darou. The song reminds me of the both of them. Haihz why do I always fall in love with the wrong guys? Why do I love or like people that could end up hurting me? I just wish K knew how I truely feel. Well but then again even if he knows he probably don't care because I bet he don't feel the same. He probably just say he likes me for the sake of just saying it since it has already happened. Just bloody admit it is a fling then I guess I give up for good. Like how Alex be mean to me and I guess that way he helped me in healing faster than I thought. He kills every single hope I have. He is the good and bad guy just like the Chinese song "Huai Ren".

I wish I could have hug the OLD Alex once more and tell him how truely sorry I am back then... tell him how much I misses him... and tell him how much he means to me. Well that's if I oould turn back time of coz', I guess that's what I'll would do. Although I know it doesn't matter now. I just regret that I didn't do that before.

Alright time to sleep... I am not as sad as I thought I will. I guess I've partially healed. :) To everyone out there who has stand by my side DOMO ARIGATO~! For those who are just like me... Don't give up just yet... time hasn't come we will soon find the love we truely deserve.

-Good Nitez/Morning-