A Life Full of Scrap

Argh~ Sorry for not updating... been busy yeah.. busy busy busy just like a bee. My work has been very stressful getting lots and lots of things to do. I am getting very tired. Thinking of leaving my current job for something else. I'm so tired with my clients changing briefs after briefs; why can't they just get it once and for all? I think they change their thoughts much often then they change their undergarments. Argh! To make it worst... I miss him dearly.

Even though for the past few days, someone came into my life. I'm not ready and I think he is not ready too. I'm just so broken up inside, I don't know how to tell him. I can't move forward yet though I enjoy his company. I just couldn't get over the past. I feel I shouldn't even be getting involved with this person in the first place. I'm afraid to hurt his feelings. Even though he did tell me he is not looking for a relationship but then calling me "baby" what is he trying to say? Well, he said calling my name is weird. We've done things like what other couples do...and we're definately more than just friends but we're not a couple... What the hell are we then? He asked what will we become... I just couldn't answer him that I'm still waiting for my ex to come back... we agreed not to have anyone within a year so that we'll see what happen next... I know I am hoping for the impossible... I know I shouldn't look back but my feelings just doesn't go away. He might be rough round the edges he might be an asshole... but love is blind. I just don't know why I love him that much. He asked me why... I said no reason. I've done that decision long time ago the day when I decided that he is the one. I don't know if I'm confuse but yeah that's how I feel. Now I am feeling sorry for that person. Somehow I know that he is sad... that we are lacking of the "together-ness" and it seems to be bothering him. I don't know... I really don't know...

My health... argh... only my ex knows what's going on. DAMN HIM! MIA FOR TWO DAYS! AND STILL MIA-ING! Couldn't he just sms me back or give me a call bloody asshole! I couldn't get in touch with him. Bloody car insurance and roadtax died and he suppose to renew it and give me. I think he couldn't care about me anymore. He is just feeling guilty that's why he borrow the car to me and obviously he has been busy having fun with his new bitch. Ya he had a new gf but doesn't want to admit it. I hate his guts! I hate him for being such a lier and move on so fast just like that as though this 7yrs means nothing to him. I hate him for ruining my life and take away my hopes and dreams. I wish to just disappear from this world.

Well... the only good news I've heard all day was my best friend Chrn Theng she's getting married next month. I'm so happy for her... but secretly it reminds me of him and how he promise to marry me too. It breaks my heart so much...

Bottom line-I hate my pathetic life.