A Life Full of Scrap

***WARNING*** DON'T EVER READ IT IF YOU THINK YOU LIVE A FANTASTICO LIFE!Argh~ Today I'm just gonna type... too lazy and tired to do the cartoon thingy...

What's LIFE? Simple four letters which form a very big word. A four year old could easily pronounce LIFE but it takes a person's whole LIFE to understand it's true meaning! What's the meaning of being ALIVE then? Have a successful career? A must have Degree papers? Be rich? Be famous? Get a house? Get a car? Have a loving spouse? Settle down and have a wonderful family? Get kids? Then what? Get Masters & Phd? Get a bigger house? Get a better car? Realize your spouse is a bitch or a bastard; divorce and find a better one? Kids grow up and they repeat what their parents do till they have their own children or grandchildren or hack their great grandchildren then what? The cycles continue... I simply don't understand why I'm born into this world...

I've got my Degree... I've got my career... I've got a car recently... I've got an hmm Okay family... I'm surviving on my own money... I've got a loving bf lately... BUT WHY? WHY AM I NEVER HAPPY WITH THE LIFE I GOT? Something seems to be missing... I don't know what's missing but I find I live a pathetic life... Where can I find the answer to HAPPINESS?

Yes I am emo... You might think "I don't appreciate things around me?" but what does appreciation have to do in the context of being ALIVE? Does it simply means when you appreciate people around you and things you've got and your surrounding... you will then find HAPPINESS at the same time? Can someone please enlighten me with your thoughts? Show me the way to be Happy? I couldn't believe it myself either... I've actually forget the feeling of true happiness... Can we actually control what we feel? I don't think so... I've seen people wrote "A day passed by when you're sad, A day also passed by when you're happy... So why not live a HAPPY life?" Well... my question is HOW? It's not like our body are build with an on off buttons right? I can't just switch Happy Mode ON! Sad Mode OFF! I don't think I'm the only person in the world being EMO... or let me put it this way... I'm not EMO... I'm simply just LOST!

I feel our nenek moyang ah kong ah ma sekalian last time before technology was so advance they are way much happier than us... the more advance we are... I feel the more our unhappy metter seems to rise... Don't you think so? If technology could really do some help... I wish scientist could just come up with something special... let's called it "Build-in body Emo-Switch" Bah... I know it's a silly thought!

One more thing I don't understand is FREEDOM? Does freedom really exist? Why people constantly seek to have this SO-CALLED FREEDOM? Personally, I don't think such thing exist either... I got so many questions in my mind... but no answer can be found. Socrates said "Ask and you'll find out the answer?" but ask who? Ask God why LIFE's hard on everyone? That's if God ever answer...

Why words such as God, Fair or Equality, Freedom are being created in the first place... words as such doesn't exist in the world we live in today!

• God- Who has seen God please raise their hands up high?
• Fairness/Equality- What fair? What equal? Even the love of your parents cannot be split in half between you and your sibblings!
• Freedom- the world we live in today somehow you will always be control somehow there will always be the limit and the concept of "the sky is the limit?" well freedom fighter keep dreaming... I'm sure ONE FINE DAY your dream will come true...

Ahh...my whole point of writting this is... it's just some thoughts that has been pondering in my brain for ages... and I just want to be Happy... guess it's time to sleep... freaking tired! Oh lately people were asking if I am happy being in love... Well, honestly I'm never happy with my life ... but I am grateful I have a loving bf... I am trying to be happy yeah... real hard! Don't ever get me wrong... I love being with my bf... he is a nice guy and I feel safe whenever he is around and yes I do love him lots! Anyway, it's just me and my blabberz... This blog will be back to cartoonie again tomorrow... Chaoz!

***SOME EXTRA*** After Syndie read the post and her comments... here's my replied:
Syndie said "it's repetitive... lost from the start"... I said "yeah that's why it's called blabberz and yes I memang lost"... Not I don't want to share my feelings with peeps around me... it's just I can't... I don't know why... I just can't thus this explained my emo blog... Syndie "you're not God take it easy"... I said "I don't want to be God either... coz' there are people like me that loves to curse and swear to Him" LoLx